Love and Happiness: Mantra for Happiness - Loving Detachment

By Amitava Basu

Simply put, happiness is satisfaction of mind. However, different individuals have different perceptions of how to achieve happiness. For some, happiness lies in wealth; for others, it is in rank and position; yet others find happiness in fame and name. Commonly, happiness is measured by achievement in terms of money, property, other material possessions, power, name, fame, education, lifestyle, position and social status.

In their quest for 'happiness' individuals tread a path that destroys the inner good instincts and virtues. Craving for material wealth begets greed and greed leads to corruption. Similar is the outcome when passion for power drives one's mind.

Life is not permanent; nothing in life can last forever. Saints and sages have realised this truth and lived away from pursuit of mundane objects and worldliness. But ordinary people fail to see this truth. Maya impels individuals to believe that material achievement is the truth of life; and, in the process, it fuels attachment to worldly pursuits and sensory pleasures. Growing attachment breeds addiction to material attainments. In turn, such addiction intoxicates the human mind, making it oblivious to the truth. So real happiness remains a mirage.

Mahasiddha Naropa, the tenth century mahasiddha of the Kagya School of Tibetan Buddhism, was born in a rich and powerful family. He renounced his family and wealth at the age of 25 to be ordained as a monk-scholar in Nalanda University where he became a leading scholar and respected faculty member. He later left in search of a guru to attain moksha and found Tilopa, who was one of the four mahasiddhas of India.

Once Tilopa handed a string full of knots to Naropa and asked him to untie them. Naropa did so and gave the string back to Tilopa. Tilopa threw the string away and asked Naropa what he understood. Naropa replied that all beings are tied by worldly attachments and they need to untie themselves.

Dispassion for attachment to material pleasures and comforts restrains one's desires, dispels worries and fears and guides us to the path of peace and tranquillity. To be dispassionate, you need to search your heart everyday and practise untying your passion for mundane matters. An individual who meticulously endeavours to get rid of expectations, hopes and fears can set the mind at rest and reach a stage of detachment from worldly pleasures.

This, however, cannot be achieved overnight. This change needs preparation of the mind and takes time. It is a practice that an individual needs to pursue for "being in the world but not of it". You should have a mind open to everything but attached to nothing. This does not mean that you have to run away from your family, society, duties and responsibilities and be less sensitive. One needs to recognise the Divine in others and work to serve the Divine.

Some may argue that the incentive behind every work is gain, without which an individual will not be motivated to work. Then how will the detachment happen? The gain is realisation of what is Eternal and the alleviation of material suffering following from this realisation. Sri Guru Granth Sahib says: "As the lotus flower floats unaffected in the water, so should one remain detached in one's own household". The lotus flower is not tainted by the slime in which it grows. It is an attitude that an individual needs to develop through belief and practice; and only this can emancipate one from worldly attachments to derive pure happiness.

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See also: Love and Happiness, Life and Beyond, Death and Dying, Body Mind and Soul)